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Manifested threesome bath dreams and had bedroom ones instead. Dream came with warnings and truths:

One, don’t expect loyalty from girls with canopy beds.

Two, threesomes with two women always include some kind of weight insecurity. Be aware of this but never mention it.

Three, if your SO is involved in the threesome you are definitely cooked. That’s some demon shit right there.

Four, if she wants to fuck her friend these are superficial relationships even if drugs are involved.

Five, this is a 2v1, detox from porn before and practice meditation
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@Kita Having sex is like splitting your soul apart into a phylactery for the sake of eternal persistence. The more things you do it with, the smaller and smaller the pieces get, and the more hollow you become. Never pair-bond with two hoes at once. Sure-fire way to get your gemstone crushed at the gates of Agartha.
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@synu sex doesn’t touch my soul anymore. I’ve lived and moved on. Some sex in the age of birth control is simply just that. Add the formative years of porn consumption and the sex you believe in is just not there.

Sure there is a meaningful connection between sexual partners. There ought to be. I’m also not very interested in sex that isn’t in some sense emotionally connected. I literally wouldn’t be able to get hard. But I know and you do too that this is idealism nonsense.

Sex lost its esteem to me. As it will for people who have it with the girls of today. The self obsession of today. It just doesn’t lend itself to this philosophy. After four sexual partners, two with love, one with naivety and one with matching freak I just kinda moved on from all sex is soul bonds. Or that bonding your soul to people is all that bad. Don’t be liberal with your body is good advice. But it’s no deeper than you’ll have better sex if you’re choosey.

What you are talking about with the importance of sex I feel in the moments when my partner takes care of me. Tends my wounds. Brushes my hair. Books an appointment for me. Even when we talk and we are just able to exist beyond everything else around us. Sure this can be sexually expressed as well but it is really so much more rare and often not the sex I’m having. Even when I am “making love”.
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@Kita @synu has the lord hardened my heart? i feel like nothing touches my soul from without anymore. i feel the warmth only every once in a while, but still it's muted and vague like i'm trying to feel through thick rubber gloves.

is faith and love for mystery my only nourishment? is there anything for ME or do i have to do all the work!?

sex sucks... but maybe birth control will fix it LOL
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@Kita
>sex doesn’t touch my soul anymore. I’ve lived and moved on. Some sex in the age of birth control is simply just that. Add the formative years of porn consumption and the sex you believe in is just not there.
Ugh. More doomerish nonsense by kita.

>I’m also not very interested in sex that isn’t in some sense emotionally connected. I literally wouldn’t be able to get hard. But I know and you do too that this is idealism nonsense.
No, this is normal.

>Sure this can be sexually expressed as well but it is really so much more rare and often not the sex I’m having. Even when I am “making love”.

And see, this is the hollowness I speak of. The fact that you can possibly speak of merging your wet flesh with another's in such a distant manner, and worse, be RIGHT, is the result of lichmaking gone horribly wrong. Sex can only be so meaningless if something has gone horribly wrong, and you KNOW it. You call it idealist nonsense, the same way you call love idealist nonsense, and hope idealist nonsense, and life idealist nonsense. You call it that because the idea that that thing IS right and that everything else IS wrong and the idea that there are a million miles to walk until you return to lived experience in touch with reality too much to stomach.

And I will revel in my egocentrism again to say that you can walk those miles and you can touch that reality. I took my fuckery to hell and back, and it is pure again. I giggled when I held his hand. I kicked my feet when he agreed to go out for dumplings. I hit 200 bpm when our bare shoulders touched. It took years.

But, the same way things get worse, things get better too. Something ALWAYS happens.
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@synu soul bonding isn’t really all that intense for me anymore as a lived experience. At this moment in time I don’t really care nor should I. It’s not even a doomer nihilist take. Its just sex as an act is just not as important to me anymore. The things I will miss from love will not be the sex.
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@Kita whatever you say old man
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